Sam Harris

Beam_Me_Up, I want to keep my shots above the belt, and not resort to any orchestral manoeuvres in the dark.

So I’ll refrain from posting any “If You Leave” lyrics for now…..sorry.

And “if you want Shady, this is what I’ll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that’ll jump start my heart quicker
than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
by the doctor when I’m not cooperating
when I’m rocking the table while he’s operating…”

Josh - 19 July 2008 01:36 PM

“In the heat of the night
You went and blackened my eyes
Well now I’m back, I’m back, I’m back
And I’m coming your way
Well now I’m supercharged
Might just explode in your face” (Motley Crue - Knock ‘Em Dead, Kid)

Can you feel that?
Oh shit
Ooh ah ah ah ah!

There is no turning back now
You’ve woken up the demon ... in me

Why can’t you just fuck off and die?
Why can’t you just leave here and die?
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU!!!
I don’t need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore

(Disturbed: Down with the sickness)

Ah, such exquisite poetry.

And while you are collecting your teeth from the pavement and apply the icepack to your balls let me take a little license with Nick Cave’s ‘Red Right Hand’ to illustrate what will happen to you if you keep up this foolishness.

I’ll wrap you in my arms,
tell you that you’ve been a good boy
I’ll rekindle all the dreams
it took you a lifetime to destroy
I’ll reach deep into the hole,
heal your shrinking soul
Hey buddy, you know you’re
never ever coming back
I’m a god, I’m a man,
I’m a ghost, I’m a guru
They’re whispering my name
through this disappearing land
But hidden in my coat
is a red right hand

You ain’t got no money?
I’ll get you some
You ain’t got no car? I’ll get you one
You ain’t got no self-respect,
you feel like an insect
Well don’t you worry buddy,
cause here I come
Through the ghettos and the barrio
and the bowery and the slum
A shadow is cast wherever I stand
Stacks of green paper in my
red right hand

You’ll see me in your nightmares,
you’ll see me in your dreams
I’ll appear out of nowhere but
I ain’t what I seem
You’ll see me in your head,
on the TV screen
And hey Josh, I’m warning
you to turn it off
I’m a ghost, I’m a god,
I’m a man, I’m a guru
You’re one microscopic cog
in my catastrophic plan
Designed and directed by
my red right hand

(Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Red right hand)

And I‘ve just added one new rule…You can only quote an artists or band once.

Bring it on little man…..

The bell has rung on round 2, and Sander seems to have pummeled Josh in both of them. But Josh is not done just yet. He seeks to emulate Rocky Balboa, and aspires to “go the distance” with the currently reigning champ. Round 3…..Josh comes back out looking like “A modern-day warrior, mean mean stride, today’s Tom Sawyer, mean mean pride” (Rush - Tom Sawyer)

He immediately throws a left hook:

“Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony
Of Destruction” (Megadeth)

He’s cut!!! Sander is cut!!! Josh just drew a little blood from the corner of Sander’s lip! Sander is human after all! With renewed confidence, Josh throws a stiff right:

“In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt, I’m after you
Smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd
And I’m hungry like the wolf” (Duran Duran)

Sander lurches back, and is momentarily stunned, but Josh should not get complacent here, because Sander seems to have longer arms, and hits really hard! Hopefully Josh will be extremely careful out there…..

Hopefully Josh will also realize how narcissistic he sounds by continuing to speak of himself in third-person.

Josh - 20 July 2008 05:32 AM

“In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt, I’m after you
Smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd
And I’m hungry like the wolf” (Duran Duran)

 

What rough beast slouches towards the Sam Harris forum, waiting to be born and murder Josh ?

“There is a killer on the road, his mind is squirming like a toad” (Riders on the storm, The Doors.)

In the temple of Josh you hide
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes

With the fire from the fireworks up above
With a gun and a shot for the pain at hand
You run for cover in the temple of Josh
You run for another but still the same
For the wind will blow my name across this land

In the black sky, thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying, weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and only air remains

{The temple of love, The sisters of mercy)

And the battles just begun
Theres many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart

Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday

How long…
How long must we sing this song?
How long? how long…

cause tonight…we can be as one
Tonight…U2

Josh pays the price for his complacency; Sander throws a massive “Sisters Of Mercy” right hook that literally sends Josh flying fifteen feet across the ring!!! He’s down…..he may not get back up…..no, wait, HE IS! He’s managed to stumble back to his feet at the count of seven (3 shy of a K.O.), but boy does he look groggy! The bell rings. He’s in his corner. His manager, Rick Allen (the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard) is trying to keep him motivated…..

Rick Allen:  “How you feeling, Josh? Talk to me!”

Josh:  “He’s winning…(catching his breath)...he’s winning…..I’m seeing three of them out there…

Joe Elliott (from front row):  “Hit the one in the middle.”

Rick Allen:  “RIGHT!!! HIT THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE!!!”

Round 4…Josh once again faces his formidable foe. Sander laughs (and a drop of blood from his Megadeth wound falls to the mat) and says “And you’re back, you’re back for more!
You turn away; you’re back for more!” (Ratt)
Josh says nothing in reply, instead he finds an opening for an uppercut:

“We walk the streets in tattered armies
We got the lion in our heart
We’re not lookin for trouble, just for some fun
But we’re all ready if you wanna start” (Twisted Sister - The Kids Are Back)

“Twisted Sister?” Sander sneers, “Is that all you’ve got?” But, as he looks over toward his manager (Joey Tempest), and they begin to share an evil laugh…..Josh furrows his brow, clenches his “south paw”, growls angrily, and unleashes the fury:

“Screams break the silence, Waking from the dead of night
Vengence is boiling, He’s Returned to kill the light
Then when he’s found who he’s looking for
Listen in awe and you’ll hear him
Bark at the moon! (Ha Ha Ha…..)

Years spent in torment, Buried in a nameless grave
Now he has risen, Miracles would have to save
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you’ll hear him
Bark at the moon! Hey, yeah, Bark at the moon!

They cursed and burried him along with shame
And thought his timeless soul had gone
In empty burning hell - Unholy One
But he’s returned to prove them wrong, So wrong
Oh, Yeah Baby!

Howling In shadows, Living in a lunar spell
He finds his heaven, Spewing from the mouth of hell
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you’ll hear him

Bark at the moon!” (Ozzy Osbourne)

A lone wolf howls in the distance, and Josh bites the head off of a bat. With his mouth covered in bat blood, he smiles at Sander and says “What now, bitch?”