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Sander and I have unfinished business
Posted: 01 August 2008 10:57 AM   [ Ignore ]  
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About three weeks ago, Sander started a thread entitled “3 wonders that should have been hits”. This topic was originally about under-appreciated songs, and then people started posting their own lists of favorite songs (hits or not). I added my own mix to the thread, and Sander immediately blew a fuse when he saw that my list included “The Final Countdown” by Europe. Apparently Sander HATES Europe. He said “Sweden can’t stop apologizing for these clowns”, and “‘The final countdown’ sucks donkeyballs”. I told Sander that I was sorry that Joey Tempest refused to give him an autograph back in the 80s, and that the band members laughed at his Starter jacket, but that there was no need to be so bitter. He took this as a “personal insult”, and he declared war on me: “...the battle lines have been drawn, the gloves are off, the claws are out….I have combed my hair forward and parted on the side, I have erased any expression from my face and loaded up my air-pressured nail-gun and I will fire at you a merciless barrage of song lyrics…..And there will be blood”.

I warned him that if he attacked, I would defend myself honorably. Sure enough, he attacked, and drew first blood with The Cure and Slayer. I responded with Michael Jackson and Survivor. He then “zinged” me with Siouxsie and the Banshees. I hit back with Motley Crue, Metallica, and Depeche Mode. Sander retaliated with Disturbed, and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. I came back with Rush and Duran Duran, and then drew blood with Megadeth. Sander recovered and fought back with The Doors and The Sisters of Mercy. I hit him with Ratt and Twisted Sister, and then knocked him to the mat with Ozzy Osbourne. And then…..nothing! Sander never responded. He started dating Dutch flight attendants and psychologist floozies, and dropped out of the fight. I understood that the women were weakening his legs, sympathized with his plight, and gave him some time to recover and rejoin the fight. I gave him a deadline, and today his time is up.

Sander, I am calling you out. Leave Billy Shears alone for now, and come finish THIS fight. This is your “final countdown”. If you don’t respond to this challenge and put up some lyrics by Monday, then I will have no choice but to claim victory. I will drop a lyrical MOAB (mother of all bombs) and finish you off for good. Everyone on this forum will see that you are a runner instead of a fighter. And to add insult to injury, I will send you PMs on a regular basis, with lyrics by Rod Stewart, Celine Dion, Europe, and Michael Jackson (and his sister Janet).....for a very long time. Don’t make me do this, Sander…..don’t make me do this. Stand up and fight me like a man, and save yourself the public embarrassment of losing to a “neonate” like me.

The ball is in your court, old man. wink

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Posted: 01 August 2008 01:48 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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Hello there young Josh,

First, you are right.
I have to stop picking fights with Billy. It is no fun at all, especially since I keep losing.
Hardly my fault though.
I can deal with brute force but I have no defense against brute reasoning.
There is something indecent about it, kind of like hitting below the intellect*.

As for the duel, I have to bow my head, sink to my knees, pass over my scepter to the young hound who has kicked me off my throne of pop-wisdom.

The thing is, the muse doesn’t tickle me at the moment.
To be more exact, a muse of a very different and delicious kind has been tickling me lately and I therefore have to accept defeat.

Thanks for playing. It was fun.

Sander

* Free after Wilde

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“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

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Posted: 01 August 2008 01:53 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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Why Sander, another oxymoron? ‘Brute reasoning’. I believe that must be close to fuckwittery.

Never let a fuckwit drag you down to his/her level and if they do, don’t let them kick you while you are down there with them. Unless of course they are trying to get you to roll over in the sack. That of course is another issue entirely.

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‘Every reflecting mind must acknowledge that there is no proof of the existence of a Deity’

‘If ignorance of nature gave birth to gods, knowledge of nature destroys them’

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Posted: 01 August 2008 02:03 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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McCreason - 01 August 2008 05:53 PM

Why Sander, another oxymoron? ‘Brute reasoning’. I believe that must be close to fuckwittery.

Hey Mac, to quote Wilde one more time: “I’ve got your oxymoron right here!”

Never let a fuckwit drag you down to his/her level and if they do, don’t let them kick you while you are down there with them. Unless of course they are trying to get you to roll over in the sack. That of course is another issue entirely.

I was under the impression that it was me who usually does the dragging-down thing.

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“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

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Posted: 01 August 2008 02:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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Sander - 01 August 2008 06:03 PM

I was under the impression that it was me who usually does the dragging-down thing.

There’s a school of thought that never gets involved in the dragging down thing because it never attacks anything that’s above it. Its aim is more to keep under water those heads that are already under water. Its proponents think of it as mercy-killing.

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Posted: 01 August 2008 02:36 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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To whomever has hijacked Sander’s computer:

Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Sander?

Bowing your head? Sinking to your knees? Are you kidding me? Now that you’ve publicly conceded defeat, I don’t know if I should still drop that lyrical bomb that I was talking about. It’s no fun beating up on someone who doesn’t fight back!

While I’m sincerely happy for you, being love-struck and all (I’m about to get married myself), I’m still a bit saddened to see the demonic rabbit turn into such a cuddly little bunny. You used to be such a contentious cantankerous curmudgeon; it’s a shame to see that go.

So you’re passing over your scepter? Fine, I’ll take it…..and then whack you in the kneecaps with it!

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Posted: 01 August 2008 03:15 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
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Josh - 01 August 2008 06:36 PM

To whomever has hijacked Sander’s computer:

Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Sander?

So you’re passing over your scepter? Fine, I’ll take it…..and then whack you in the kneecaps with it!

..Clears throat, straightens out floppy ears….

You motherless fuck.
You foul smelling, dickless, witless, poor excuse for a steaming pile of shit.
I have seen more intelligent creatures than you floating on their backs in ponds.

I’d rather eat glass than read one more of your skull-crushingly boring posts.

Screw you, screw your family, screw your syphilis-ridden grandmother and may your off-spring appear regularly on day-time TV.

Now get your punk-ass off this forum and go back to Possumdick, Kentucky or to whatever puss-dripping incest freak- fest- shit-kicker town you were puked out of.


Better ?

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“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

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Posted: 01 August 2008 03:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
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Sander - 01 August 2008 07:15 PM

I have seen more intelligent creatures than you floating on their backs in ponds.

I think what you are doing here is accusing Josh of being a toady. Please clarify if my guess is incorrect.

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Posted: 01 August 2008 03:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
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Salt Creek - 01 August 2008 07:24 PM
Sander - 01 August 2008 07:15 PM

I have seen more intelligent creatures than you floating on their backs in ponds.

I think what you are doing here is accusing Josh of being a toady. Please clarify if my guess is incorrect.

I thought maybe he was calling him upside-down pond scum.

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“Proving the efficacy of a methodology without defining the word ‘efficacy’ can come back to bite you in the assertion.”—Salt Creek

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Posted: 01 August 2008 04:36 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]  
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Oh, hey Sander! There you are! I hate to break this to you, but you forgot to log off when you left your computer, and a soft-spoken pathetic little bitch started typing in your place. He conceded defeat and passed me the scepter, while on his knees with his head hung in shame. He even admitted that Billy Shears was more reasonable than him!

It’s good to have you back, but I fear that the pitiful display from post #1 may have already done some irreversible damage to your reputation.

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Posted: 01 August 2008 06:05 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]  
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Sander - 01 August 2008 07:15 PM

..Clears throat, straightens out floppy ears….

You motherless fuck.
You foul smelling, dickless, witless, poor excuse for a steaming pile of shit.
I have seen more intelligent creatures than you floating on their backs in ponds.

I’d rather eat glass than read one more of your skull-crushingly boring posts.

Screw you, screw your family, screw your syphilis-ridden grandmother and may your off-spring appear regularly on day-time TV.

Now get your punk-ass off this forum and go back to Possumdick, Kentucky or to whatever puss-dripping incest freak- fest- shit-kicker town you were puked out of.

Damn ... that’s art man!

I’m touched.

Byron

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Posted: 03 August 2008 05:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]  
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SkepticX - 01 August 2008 10:05 PM

Damn ... that’s art man!

I’m touched.

Byron

C’est le ton qui fait la musique, mais ceci n’est pas une pipe et ceci n’est pas un lapin diabolique.

[ Edited: 03 August 2008 05:16 PM by Lapin Diabolique]
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“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

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Posted: 04 August 2008 06:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]  
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So this thread has gone multi-lingual? How about a little Spanish…..

Sander, tu no puedes competir conmigo. Tu eres demasiado viejo, y yo soy demasiado intelligente.

Tu madre hace el amor con mi perro, y tus hijos parecieron en Jerry Springer.

[ Edited: 04 August 2008 06:53 AM by Josh]
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Posted: 04 August 2008 01:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]  
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I especially liked the possumdick part, but isn’t possum spelled opossom? grinThem thar Kantucky marsupials I think is what is referred to here.

Sander is the man. Could you imagine him as a Marine drill instructor? Yellin all that vulgar shit about an inch from your face? He would make Chesty Puller blush.

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‘Every reflecting mind must acknowledge that there is no proof of the existence of a Deity’

‘If ignorance of nature gave birth to gods, knowledge of nature destroys them’

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Posted: 04 August 2008 03:30 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]  
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Josh - 04 August 2008 10:44 AM

So this thread has gone multi-lingual? How about a little Spanish…..

Sander, tu no puedes competir conmigo. Tu eres demasiado viejo, y yo soy demasiado intelligente.

Tu madre hace el amor con mi perro, y tus hijos parecieron en Jerry Springer.

You appear to be under the impression that I am willing to waste my time on every humorless turd who wanders onto the Sam Harris forum trying to make a name for himself, without checking the content of his posts.

Let me tell you how this is going to go down, nefarious neonate, and please let me know if you are more comfortable if I use smaller words.

Tell me what my last post translates to literally and then tell me what I meant by it.

If you get close enough I could be moved to actually respond to you.

Since your knowledge of the French language and Belgian painters is likely as developed as your knowledge about the location of your own colon I am expecting a very long silence.

Do you understand what I am trying to convey here?


Bitch.

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“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

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Posted: 04 August 2008 03:43 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]  
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Sander - 04 August 2008 07:30 PM

Let me tell you how this is going to go down, nefarious neonate, and please let me know if you are more comfortable if I use smaller words.

It’s one thing for someone like me, a native-English-speaking logophile, to use language like this. It’s quite another when some recalcitrant refugee from Rembrandt van Rijn’s realm of residence repines with ripe ripostes. Sesquipedalian skulduggery! Loquacious lambasting!

Edit: The painter’s name is Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn.

“von” is not Dutch. Below is a self-portrait drawn by the artist at about age 24, courtesy of wikipedia.

[ Edited: 04 August 2008 04:52 PM by Traces Elk]
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