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Posted: 12 January 2005 09:07 AM   [ Ignore ]  
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Warning: Preaching may be hazardous to your health: 

Need   a job ?  Immediate opening. 

Insert punchline   here .

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Posted: 13 January 2005 03:11 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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I really like this line:

“By God, if I am not telling the truth may I be struck by lightening”

I recently read about a minister in a small church in the south that had faith that God would protect him in the handling of serpents. The rattle snake bit him, he had faith, he died the next day.

God works in mysterious ways!

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Posted: 15 January 2005 03:52 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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[quote author=“lawrence”]I really like this line:

“By God, if I am not telling the truth may I be struck by lightening”

I recently read about a minister in a small church in the south that had faith that God would protect him in the handling of serpents. The rattle snake bit him, he had faith, he died the next day.

God works in mysterious ways!

Lawrence, I can assure you that whatever you read about that minister is the “God-awful truth.”

Over thirty years ago when I was in college, I took a class called Introduction to World Religions just to satisfy a graduation requirement.  Since I had stopped believing in God before I turned 12, I regarded all the world religions we studied as backward, misguided and strange. But by far the weirdest group we learned about was a homegrown one—the snake handling holy rollers.

At the start of one class, the professor turned off the lights and told us we were going to watch a special movie.  The film was a silent, black and white home movie that seemed to have been filmed about twenty-five years before.

It showed a group of badly dressed white southerners who were having a holy roller service inside their makeshift church. The members of the congregation were jerking their arms and bodies wildly and, even though there was no sound, it was obvious they were speaking in tongues.

When everyone reached a frenzy, the preacher reached inside a wooden box sitting on the floor and pulled out an enormous, repulsive snake. The preacher held the snake close to his body and allowed it to wrap around his arms, legs and the rest of his body. This went on for several minutes until the preacher forced his snake back into the box.

At this point the movie abruptly ended. The professor switched on the lights and turned towards us and said, “There’s one more thing you should know about this film—less than two weeks after it was made, the preacher was bitten by his snake. He died the very next day.”

Everyone in the room just sat there silently, dumbfounded by what they had seen and heard. Then the bell rang, and this never-to-be-forgotten class was over.

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Posted: 15 January 2005 05:50 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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[quote author=“nancynancy”] before I turned 12

When I was 14 an evangelist thought that my head was a liitle too big for my shoulders. To teach me humility he handcuffed me to a post in the basement and left me there.

He sure taught me humility!

He also taught me to never ever trust an evangelist!

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