While more sophisticated Christians and heretical rabble alike will be tempted to brand Representative Kern’s world view as religion at its dumbest or most odious, I’d say that it is faith in its oldest and most unclouded form.
Perhaps we should not be surprised to find such an uncouth manifestation of apophenia blossoming in the fertile, intellect-free soil of our heartland when it can be seen, in all its pompous ignorance, across the pond in even as ‘moderate’ and gentle a sect as the Church of England.
Two of its highest ranking shamans, the bishops of Carlisle and Liverpool, attributed the flooding of Yorkshire in 2007 to gay shenanigans and man’s despoilment of Mother Nature through the emission of excess greenhouse gases.
Seeking patterns in a world that seems random was undoubtedly our strongest asset while we were shedding our fur and took our first wobbly steps towards our shiny future filled with the marvels we now take for granted.
I speak, of course, of modern medicine, taking a stroll on the Moon, Pet Rocks and being bound in chains to an activated ceiling fan, with a large carrot orally inserted, while an ill-tempered midget spanks your ass with a ping-pong paddle at each rotation while Queen’s “We are the Champions” plays loudly in the background.
You know, progress.
Seeking patterns is what we do instinctively, and most of us are dim enough not to recognize that the patterns we find and the hate we carry in our little hearts towards others, more often than not converges.
Add to this lamentable mix that good-old American disdain for smarty-pants like yours truly and you have a 21st century government that is comprised of idiots like Kern.
Apes, fine Italian shoes: you know the drill.
Sometimes I wonder who’s crazier, Phelps or Roberts.
