Pushing Air
Posted: 25 July 2009 08:57 AM   [ Ignore ]  
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  1814
Joined  2006-11-10

Robin Williams joked during one of his machinegun, manic monologues that the French invented the concept merely to prove how superior they are to the Americans.

Were I ever to write a song about it, I would cover that old Dire Straits ditty with the lyrics slightly changed. ‘Nothing for Money, and nix is free’


I am about to descend into the subway station when Jennifer Aniston’s beautiful face is suggesting all kinds of carnal pleasures to me while she is holding up a bottle.

A cocktail of thoughts and emotions swirls through my head, lust, of course, being the main ingredient.
Besides that obvious reaction to seeing a naked, well-photographed woman, I wonder why she does it; sell herself to a company by pushing their product. She is already filthy rich; why not write a book or go to the park or play with your cats instead ?
I guess my broke ass will never understand the ways of the wealthy.

The Company’s marketing execs have spend many hectic days trying to decide who would be the best ‘spokes person’ for their product and what their fee would be.

The millions that miss Aniston is raking in for giving me a boner during my evening commute are eventually paid, of course, by the consumer.

The odd thing is that the product in question can also be obtained, for free, by standing outside on a rainy day and merely tilting your head back and opening your mouth.

These thoughts bounce through my head before I enter the subway station and a final dash irony tops off the cocktail when I contemplate the brand name of the water that people are forking out $ 2 for.

It is called Smart water.

 
The subway car smells, like someone has pissed in it. Someone probably has.
The large add in the subway car features a woman with one of the least sincere smiles I have ever seen. She is not even trying. She merely pulls up lips to reveal as much of her teeth and unpleasantly large gums as possible and her eyes don’t bother to join the smiling activity.

The woman is called Lisa Nichols and she is a motivational speaker.The book she is selling is called : ‘You can overcome anything, no matter what’. Those last three words are presented in enormous font.

I want to meet this woman, and punch her repeatedly in the face.
If I were less irritated I’d still want to meet her and ask if her method also works for holocaust survivors who had to betray their fellow prisoners to make it out alive and have since developed some sleeping problems.

I hate the bitch, but then I realize that she is nothing special. She’s just another worthless whore in the capitalist gangbang, trying to make buck by loudly, shamelessly proclaiming the bloody obvious.

She is ‘a rock star of personal growth’ according to Stephen Coffey, the grand daddy of the enormously lucrative industry of vacuous piffle.
There are two other people on the add also endorsing Lisa’s book. They too are motivational speakers.
I can see how this bootstrapping thing works and how you can invent nothing out of nothing and make it into a new self-sustaining industry.

It reminded me of the disgusting media hype over that barely talented nitwit who was buried in a golden casket last week.

A golden fucking casket ! and his pal bearing brothers had the good taste to wear a shiny, glittery, kitschy glove on one hand.
His sister Janet, who for reasons unknown keeps telling us that she has some, so far undetected, talent, bestowed on her by the Good Lord, thought it prudent to wear 6 inch heeled pumps to her brother’s funeral.

Clever girl, after all there were cameras there.

 Signature 

“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2009 09:40 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5404
Joined  2006-09-27
Bad Rabbit - 25 July 2009 12:57 PM

The woman is called Lisa Nichols and she is a motivational speaker.The book she is selling is called : ‘You can overcome anything, no matter what’. Those last three words are presented in enormous font.

The real problem is that most people in societies that depend on advertising live for 50 to 70 years after they can fulfill the biological requirements of sexual maturity (by which I mean the scientific sense; the word “maturity” is also used in a colloquial sense).

While waiting for death, be sure to use an elegant font. (Since Nhoj is rarely around, I can only try to emulate him in my feeble way.)

She is ‘a rock star of personal growth’ according to Stephen Coffey, the grand daddy of the enormously lucrative industry of vacuous piffle.

The problem in verbally abusing such oxygen thieves is that you have to buy a ticket for their “seminars” and be much bigger and tougher than their bouncers. These people are not as vacuous as they appear at first blush.

Really, though, the problem is easier, since abusing the suckers who keep them in Maseratis is so easy, and the opportunities to do so are so numerous. In a PT Barnum world, the egress is a consummation devoutly to be wished.

A golden fucking casket!

You thought that was bad? Wait until Elton John kicks the bucket. It will be, in the words of mathematical punsters, “infinite sequins”.

What is vacuous piffle when compared with stentorian mediocrity? For more, see Sting. A passable bassist, but bombastic as hell. My opinion is, if you wanna sing the blues, don’t be bombastic. Even Bob Dylan gets bombastic at times, but he tries to keep it to a minimum. There’s a distinct possibilty that Bob Dylan will also die someday.

[ Edited: 25 July 2009 11:11 AM by Traces Elk]
 Signature 

INVEST in cynicism!

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2009 12:05 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  1221
Joined  2008-07-20
Traces Elk - 25 July 2009 01:40 PM

My opinion is, if you wanna sing the blues, don’t be bombastic. Even Bob Dylan gets bombastic at times, but he tries to keep it to a minimum. There’s a distinct possibilty that
Bob Dylan will also die someday.

He seems to agree with TE about that distinct possibility.

From “Not Dark Yet” on Time Out of Mind –

I was born here and I’ll die here against my will
I know it looks like I’m moving, but I’m standing still
Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb
I can’t even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don’t even hear a murmur of a prayer
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there.

By the way, my wife is a Minnesota native and intransigent Dylan apologist.  She even explains his christian era as an experiment in Godardian distancing of the audience from the illusion of “knowing” the artist.  She insists that the more he proselytized for jeesus, the more everyone said, “But he’s a Jew!”  Thus, she argues, he strips away the myth of Bob Dylan by insisting on the recognition of Bob Zimmerman.  I don’t argue back, and neither of us listen to (or even own) Blood on the Track.

 Signature 

“I am one of the few people I know who has argued in print that torture may be an ethical necessity in our war on terror.”  Sam Harris October 17, 2005

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2009 01:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5404
Joined  2006-09-27
teuchter - 25 July 2009 04:05 PM

From “Not Dark Yet” on Time Out of Mind

Better false bombast (also known as “self-parody”) than false humility. And none better than an attorney to know that. “Blood on the Tracks” is bombastic. Dylan was thirty or so at the time it was recorded. So let us not talk falsely, now. The hour is getting late.

Godardian distancing of the audience from the illusion of “knowing” the artist

For bombast, nothing tops this sort of tripe. But all is forgiven, since it is so recursively self-aware of its own tripefulness. All it lacks is the capacity to sell hundreds of millions of recordings of itself to the people PT Barnum warned us about.

Now you know the reason for peer-to-peer file sharing. Why isn’t “Godardian distancing” popular on the P2P? By the time people are fifty-five or so, their bombast should either be parodic of others, self-parodic, or backed by something.

[ Edited: 25 July 2009 01:38 PM by Traces Elk]
 Signature 

INVEST in cynicism!

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2009 01:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2136
Joined  2006-02-20

Bob Dylan: (pushing his way offstage through manic fans)
“Why are they applauding that shit?”

Did anyone notice that Brer Rabbit thinks Jennifer Aniston has a pretty face?  A crack in his brittle facade?  An underlying future father of America?  (FFA)

[ Edited: 25 July 2009 02:00 PM by unsmoked]
 Signature 

“The simple fables of the religious of the world have come to seem like tales told to children.”  - Nobel Prize recipient - Francis Crick

“It is time we recognized the boundless narcissism and self-deceit of the saved.” - Sam Harris

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2009 02:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2136
Joined  2006-02-20
Bad Rabbit - 25 July 2009 12:57 PM

A golden fucking casket !

What surprises me is that he didn’t commission a pyramid to hold his remains - bigger than Cheops’, built from alabaster in the Tularosa Valley with an observation deck near the peak for viewing the missile tests.

http://interoz.com/EGYPT/cheops.htm

http://www.nps.gov/whsa  (or - STOP! Missiles Crossing)

[ Edited: 26 July 2009 10:58 AM by unsmoked]
 Signature 

“The simple fables of the religious of the world have come to seem like tales told to children.”  - Nobel Prize recipient - Francis Crick

“It is time we recognized the boundless narcissism and self-deceit of the saved.” - Sam Harris

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2009 02:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5404
Joined  2006-09-27
unsmoked - 25 July 2009 05:55 PM

“Why are they applauding that shit?”

I dunno, Bob. After several years of it, perhaps some recognition of how bombastic “The End of Faith” sounds.

Or, what point of view did you think I was offering, unsmoked?

 Signature 

INVEST in cynicism!

Profile
 
 
Posted: 26 July 2009 07:01 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  1814
Joined  2006-11-10
Traces Elk - 25 July 2009 01:40 PM

You thought that was bad? Wait until Elton John kicks the bucket. It will be, in the words of mathematical punsters, “infinite sequins”.

Yes, but he’s an aging queen who walks around with a squashed rodent on his head and who auctioned off his last piece of dignity long before he squealed that sentimental garbage ‘Candle in the wind’ for that dead English Jet-setter girl.
How incredibly sleazy; he loved her so much that he didn’t bother to write a song just for her, but he just updated an old ditty. Very economical.

Traces Elk - 25 July 2009 01:40 PM

What is vacuous piffle when compared with stentorian mediocrity? For more, see Sting. A passable bassist, but bombastic as hell. My opinion is, if you wanna sing the blues, don’t be bombastic. Even Bob Dylan gets bombastic at times, but he tries to keep it to a minimum. There’s a distinct possibilty that Bob Dylan will also die someday.

The only reason why Sting doesn’t show up on my shitlists more often is because “Bring on the Night” was a very fine album.
But that is his one and only saving grace, because no matter how hard I search my corroded, cranial database, I can not come up with a more irritating, pompous,self-involved mediocre turd than this British git.


Oh dear God, I just had a vision of Hell.
It is a large sports arena and there is no exit, only an entrance through which the damned are led, single file and in silent despair,into this place of eternal torment.

The demons shackle the doomed audience to their seats and Elton, behind a piano that emits a yellow sulfuric miasma and Sting, playing a bass made of the limbs and faces of murdered children, launch into the first bars of their opening piece, a 89 year long version of Crocodile Rock.

In utter horror the damned twist and moan as the hideous sounds crawl their way,like hungry insects, into their eardrums, .
Yet it is not until the third person arrives, completing the musical trifecta from Hell, that the true wailing and gnashing of teeth begins as the vocals, for all eternity, will be provided by Bob Dylan.

Oh, the horror. The horror.

 Signature 

“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

Profile
 
 
Posted: 26 July 2009 08:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  1587
Joined  2006-10-20
unsmoked - 25 July 2009 05:55 PM

Did anyone notice that Brer Rabbit thinks Jennifer Aniston has a pretty face?

Ms. Aniston is categorically hot.  Mr. Rabbit is excused.

 Signature 

“All extremists should be killed!” - neighbor’s bumper sticker

Profile
 
 
Posted: 26 July 2009 08:58 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]  
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  1587
Joined  2006-10-20
unsmoked - 25 July 2009 05:55 PM

Did anyone notice that Brer Rabbit thinks Jennifer Aniston has a pretty face?

Ms. Aniston is categorically hot.  Mr. Rabbit is excused.

 Signature 

“All extremists should be killed!” - neighbor’s bumper sticker

Profile
 
 
Posted: 27 July 2009 12:06 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]  
Member
Avatar
RankRankRank
Total Posts:  951
Joined  2007-06-23
Bad Rabbit - 26 July 2009 11:01 AM

The only reason why Sting doesn’t show up on my shitlists more often is because “Bring on the Night” was a very fine album.
But that is his one and only saving grace, because no matter how hard I search my corroded, cranial database, I can not come up with a more irritating, pompous,self-involved mediocre turd than this British git.

Imagine that. A pompous, self involved writer. That doesn’t, by definition, make their work worthless - it just makes the writer annoying.

Soul Cages is worth keeping in my iPod, though - along with Bring On the Night.

Given any thought to Bono, Senor Leporidae?

Although Unforgettable Fire stays on the iPod too. “A Sort of Homecoming” stays at #1 on my list of favorite U2 songs.

If you really want annoying piled on annoying that still sounds good, check out Sting’s cover of Elton’s “Come Down in Time” on Two Rooms.

BTW - 1000 posts (I think). I await my just desserts.

 Signature 

He who is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind  -Chamfort

Profile
 
 
   
 
 
RSS 2.0     Atom Feed