Christians, why don’t you drink poison and handle poisonous snakes?
Posted: 05 October 2009 04:40 PM   [ Ignore ]  
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Since the bible says that if you are a christian, you can drink poison, and handle poisonous snakes, without being harmed by them, why don’t you do so?

Don’t you think that the bible is telling the truth?

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Posted: 06 October 2009 02:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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Personally, I drink poison in the form of Jack Daniels on occasion.  It does me no harm, thus proving the truth of the Gospel passage.  I also handle snakes regularly, in the form of cheating lawyers and lying witnesses.  I’m still here, so once again, the Scripture’s truth is borne out.

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Posted: 06 October 2009 07:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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Bruce Burleson - 06 October 2009 06:51 PM

Personally, I drink poison in the form of Jack Daniels on occasion.  It does me no harm, thus proving the truth of the Gospel passage.  I also handle snakes regularly, in the form of cheating lawyers and lying witnesses.  I’m still here, so once again, the Scripture’s truth is borne out.

Salathiel:
Have you been in an 8 month trial, or just wandering in the West Texas desert?

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Posted: 07 October 2009 06:32 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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teuchter - 06 October 2009 11:17 PM
Bruce Burleson - 06 October 2009 06:51 PM

Personally, I drink poison in the form of Jack Daniels on occasion.  It does me no harm, thus proving the truth of the Gospel passage.  I also handle snakes regularly, in the form of cheating lawyers and lying witnesses.  I’m still here, so once again, the Scripture’s truth is borne out.

Salathiel:
Have you been in an 8 month trial, or just wandering in the West Texas desert?

A combination of both.  West Texas desert snakes are much less poisonous and dangerous than courtroom snakes, so I like to go out there whenever I can.  My recent travels have taken me to Big Bend National Park (which is what heaven must look like), Big Bend Ranch State Park (rough and rugged), Davis Mountains State Park (Indian Lodge - the best night’s sleep around), McDonald Observatory (in the Davis Mountains - starry, starry night at the Astronomers’ Lodge!), Balmorhea State Park (with a desert spring gushing millions of gallons of pure water every day), and the Guadalupe Mountains (McKittrick Canyon there is among the most beautiful places I have ever hiked).  Ah, the wonders of God’s creation.

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Posted: 07 October 2009 07:53 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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Now, to make a more serious reply to the OP: The passage that you refer to is found in Mark 16:18.  It is almost universally recognized that anything past Mark 16:8 is not original, but was added later. So, its genuineness is suspect as a legitimate part of scripture.

But, even assuming that Jesus did say this, there is no commandment here to drink poison or handle snakes in the original Greek.  It is descriptive, not prescriptive.  It describes a grace that may be given to Christians in persecution, when they might be forced to drink poison, etc., or as a protection to those who are engaged in carrying out the Great Commission.  An example of this would be Paul’s experience with the serpent in Acts 28. Those who read the Marcan passage as commanding that believers drink poison or handle snakes are misreading it.  That would be tempting God, which is a no-no.

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Posted: 12 October 2009 02:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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Bruce Burleson - 07 October 2009 11:53 AM

......It is almost universally recognized that anything past Mark 16:8 is not original, but was added later…... So, its genuineness is suspect as a legitimate part of scripture….....even assuming that Jesus did say this…...... It is descriptive, not prescriptive…...


.......believers drink poison or handle snakes are misreading it.  That would be tempting God, which is a no-no.


Well, we must all count ourselves fortunate that we have found one in our midst who is capable of sorting out the bits in scripture that Yahweh’s scribes may or may not have gotten right.

Jebus’ dad sure is an incompetent fuckwit.

I mean, it is only the most important communication towards us lowly worms, ever!
And those of us who are flammable have a lot riding on this book.

And if He knew we were going to have issues figuring out His will, then why didn’t this lazy-ass under-achiever get his divine ass behind a fucking typewriter and write the god-damned book himself?

It isn’t that hard to write an unambiguous pronouncement.

Here, I’ll give the Great One a free lesson in clear, concise correspondence that leaves no room for ‘interpretation’.

Bad Rabbit’s 10 commandments:

1. Listen up, you little pussies! If I ever catch any one of you dillweeds molesting the kiddies (are you paying attention Roman?) I’ll kick your fucking ass.

2. Don’t lie or listen to country music.

3. Honor your parents unless they are douchenozzles.

4. Don’t pollute my planet with all these ugly little mewling cabbages that you think are so special. They are not. Just because you can squeeze out a little even more annoying version of yourself doesn’t mean you should do it every god-damned year.
Two kids max. or I’ll make you watch Oprah ,A Clockwork Orange-style, for a whole year.

5. Stop squealing to me. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your petty, little problems. Get off your knees and do something useful like inventing the antidote to Yani and leave me the fuck alone.

6. Don’t kill people unless they are involved in marketing.

7. Someone, anyone, please, pretty-please go to Italy and kick that German faggot with the red shoes in the balls.
Major brownie points with Me are assured.

8. Ditto for any smelly Mullah or Rabbi you come across.
Believe Me, these frauds don’t know dick about Me.
They are scamming you, for crying out loud ! Jesus Fucking Christ, you people are retarded.

9. Covet any bloody thing you want to, but just keep your dirty paws off crap that doesn’t belong to you.

10. Oh yeah, and don’t steal and lie or jerk off on Jebus’ birthday.

There! Now that isn’t too complicated is it?

You little bitches.

The Big BR in the Sky


PS. Good seeing you again, Bruce : )


Edited to remove inappropiate language.

[ Edited: 12 October 2009 02:08 PM by Lapin Diabolique]
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Posted: 13 October 2009 09:04 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
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Bad Rabbit - 02 September 2326 10:49 AM

.
3. Honor your parents unless they are douchenozzles.

Honor your parents only if they admit that you were a mistake. Imagine planning to keep this whole charade going for one more generation. That’s the definition of a douchenozzle right there. I love my parents, but I’m sure they didn’t know what they were doing. Childless humans can be douchenozzles as well, but the evil that they do doesn’t live after them. Who needs a talking pet? Get a dog.

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Posted: 07 November 2009 08:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
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Bruce Burleson - 07 October 2009 11:53 AM

Now, to make a more serious reply to the OP: The passage that you refer to is found in Mark 16:18.  It is almost universally recognized that anything past Mark 16:8 is not original, but was added later. So, its genuineness is suspect as a legitimate part of scripture.

But, even assuming that Jesus did say this, there is no commandment here to drink poison or handle snakes in the original Greek.  It is descriptive, not prescriptive.  It describes a grace that may be given to Christians in persecution, when they might be forced to drink poison, etc., or as a protection to those who are engaged in carrying out the Great Commission.  An example of this would be Paul’s experience with the serpent in Acts 28. Those who read the Marcan passage as commanding that believers drink poison or handle snakes are misreading it.  That would be tempting God, which is a no-no.

Why was it added later?  And for what reason would some-one put that in the bible, if it was not divinely inspired?

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Posted: 11 November 2009 04:03 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
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Bruce Burleson - 07 October 2009 11:53 AM

That would be tempting God, which is a no-no.

Why not?, I guess you have not tried Malbec, it’s is a pitty…

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Posted: 12 November 2009 02:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]  
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Airy Spirit - 05 October 2009 08:40 PM

Since the bible says that if you are a christian, you can drink poison, and handle poisonous snakes, without being harmed by them, why don’t you do so?

Don’t you think that the bible is telling the truth?

Hah, probably you’ve not talked to too many reasonable religious moderates (liberals) like Alistair McGrath. They would say that you take the literalist view of the scripture making the same error as fundamentalists. Not being trained in theology you simply can’t be talked to. You’re like Dawkins who has just run out of his lab talking about the things he has very limited understanding of : “Here’s me the sciencist who will put an end to that philosophical nonsensewink

[ Edited: 12 November 2009 02:31 AM by Non-believer]
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