......It is almost universally recognized that anything past Mark 16:8 is not original, but was added later…... So, its genuineness is suspect as a legitimate part of scripture….....even assuming that Jesus did say this…...... It is descriptive, not prescriptive…...
.......believers drink poison or handle snakes are misreading it. That would be tempting God, which is a no-no.
Well, we must all count ourselves fortunate that we have found one in our midst who is capable of sorting out the bits in scripture that Yahweh’s scribes may or may not have gotten right.
Jebus’ dad sure is an incompetent fuckwit.
I mean, it is only the most important communication towards us lowly worms, ever!
And those of us who are flammable have a lot riding on this book.
And if He knew we were going to have issues figuring out His will, then why didn’t this lazy-ass under-achiever get his divine ass behind a fucking typewriter and write the god-damned book himself?
It isn’t that hard to write an unambiguous pronouncement.
Here, I’ll give the Great One a free lesson in clear, concise correspondence that leaves no room for ‘interpretation’.
Bad Rabbit’s 10 commandments:
1. Listen up, you little pussies! If I ever catch any one of you dillweeds molesting the kiddies (are you paying attention Roman?) I’ll kick your fucking ass.
2. Don’t lie or listen to country music.
3. Honor your parents unless they are douchenozzles.
4. Don’t pollute my planet with all these ugly little mewling cabbages that you think are so special. They are not. Just because you can squeeze out a little even more annoying version of yourself doesn’t mean you should do it every god-damned year.
Two kids max. or I’ll make you watch Oprah ,A Clockwork Orange-style, for a whole year.
5. Stop squealing to me. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your petty, little problems. Get off your knees and do something useful like inventing the antidote to Yani and leave me the fuck alone.
6. Don’t kill people unless they are involved in marketing.
7. Someone, anyone, please, pretty-please go to Italy and kick that German faggot with the red shoes in the balls.
Major brownie points with Me are assured.
8. Ditto for any smelly Mullah or Rabbi you come across.
Believe Me, these frauds don’t know dick about Me.
They are scamming you, for crying out loud ! Jesus Fucking Christ, you people are retarded.
9. Covet any bloody thing you want to, but just keep your dirty paws off crap that doesn’t belong to you.
10. Oh yeah, and don’t steal and lie or jerk off on Jebus’ birthday.
There! Now that isn’t too complicated is it?
You little bitches.
The Big BR in the Sky
PS. Good seeing you again, Bruce : )
Edited to remove inappropiate language.