Two of my colleagues woke up one day a few years back and went to work as per normal. Their mood and spirits were ‘normal’. Nothing seemed untoward. By the end of the day they were both dead. They and I were in our mid twenties. Devastating it was. The emotional impact brought feelings and questions to my mind that I had not asked since childhood. This loss was the first of many over the past 20 years.
In reaching into my deepest rationale I finally concluded the immutable laws of physics and some as yet unknown laws of mental processing simply work away toward these outcomes with objective indifference. These processes just beaver away without regard for morals, good, evil, right, wrong. They assured that no matter what my friends ‘reasoned’ that this particular day would bring, they would not survive it to see another dawn. They were destined to hit the ground at 500kts in the dark of the night in a jet aircraft because some ‘laws’, both known and unknown, ordained it. Back to oblivion in an instant and neither knew it was coming. These laws conspired to take them regardless of what plans they had ‘in mind’ for the rest of their lives. What they had ‘in mind’ did not matter.
I figured if their best rationale could not lead them to predict the actual truth of this single tragic event; then what makes any of us so certain that anything we predict ‘with reason’ is somehow representative of the objective truth?
For my buddies it seemed that reason could only lead them to their personal predictions of truth. On this prediction they proceeded, yet they were wrong, deadly wrong.
I decided that all of my own reason and logic must also carry this fundamental flaw in its predictive powers. I concluded that the average person doesn’t experience tragedy often enough to see this flaw in his/her logical predictions for the day. Little errors and mistakes throughout the day don’t add up to traumas that threaten most people’s entire personal logic system. Therefore the average person gets to think he is ‘right’ even though he cannot ever be.
For me though, a slide into solipsism has been unavoidable. I am not ‘down’ about it, it has simply been the only rational way to proceed. I couldn’t help but wonder though, is this biblical ‘false prophet’ that takes a position of power to lead all men, a metaphor for the logical judgments of the mind itself?
I’m interested in any thoughts on this.