I vaguely remember this maxim being uttered,either by some real person in the cold light of day of this harsh realm we find ourselves in, or perhaps I was the only one who heard it reverberate through my septan cranium during one of the many chemically induced stupors I used to call Friday night, or Tuesday afternoon.
Regardless, someone, somewhere has said it and if they haven’t, they should have, for it is true.
This theorem is easy to prove.
No doubt, you will all nod your wise and recently washed heads in silent agreement when I say that for every ‘One, by U2’ and ‘One headlight, by the Wallflowers’ one will be tormented by 98 “Achy Breaky Hearts, by Pretentious MulletHead” or similar auditory offense against good taste and common decency.
Likewise one can, without even trying, point at 98 heinous and horrific visual infestations of the ether, disguised in the innocuous sounding euphemism ’television programming’, such as; Dancing with the tarts, American Dilhole and The News, before one, exhausted and delirious, can state that Shooting Stars and Fawlty Towers are well worth watching.
However, like all good rules there is an exception to this one and that is, of course, people talking on their mobile telephones (usually loudly) in public.
Of every one hundred ‘conversations’ that are forced into my immaculate and well-shaped ear exactly zero are of any interest to me whatsoever.
I’ll admit that I may be a wee more punctilious than the average citizen, I’ll even grant you, perplexed reader, that I hover towards fastidiousness, oh sod it,all right,I’ll admit it,I am a cantankerous old fuck,but when is the last time you overheard anyone saying anything remotely interesting on their wireless monstrosity?
“We have just landed and we are almost at the gate”, “ And, like, she was, like, uh, oh no you didn’t, and I was, like, Whatever!”, “ dude, wassup ?”, “fo-shizzle, ganizzle I’s be out the dos, hos”.
Aren’t we lucky that we have satellites orbiting our troubled blue sphere that are linked up just so that we can,with digital clarity, send to and fro these important, beautiful and wise communications?
About every 5 years another alien spacecraft carrying inhabitants from some distant galaxy comes a-speeding towards Earth ,eager to meet the creatures that hurl these millions of strangely coded messages into the universe.
However, when they come close enough to hear what we are actually saying they invariably shake their over-sized heads and mutter, disappointed and slightly pissed-off;
“Dude, that’s one lame-ass species. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
Wikapedia cops out. The story as it came to me many years ago was that Sturgeon was at a party and mentioned to a woman that he wrote science fiction. She said, “90% of science fiction is crap.” (not crud) Sturgeon replied, “90% of everything is crap.” So, if bad rabbit has upped the ante to 98% we can see that things have been going down hill since those golden days.
The story as it came to me many years ago was that Sturgeon was at a party and mentioned to a woman that he wrote science fiction. She said, “90% of science fiction is crap.” (not crud) Sturgeon replied, “90% of everything is crap.” So, if bad rabbit has upped the ante to 98% we can see that things have been going down hill since those golden days.
Well, 110% of what comes from you is crap, because you have woo, and your amp goes to 11.
You’re right, Rabbit. You’re absolutely spot on. 98% of everything is crap. I’ll take that a bit further and postulate that 98% of people are idiots.
For example, for every two individuals who have taken the time, and made the successful effort, to master the fine art of political correctness and tactful speech…..there are 98 intellectually incapacitated imbeciles who seem predisposed to pitiful displays of uncouth insensitivity. A certain individual immediately comes to mind to beautifully illustrate this point…..a rash, reckless, raucous, rowdy, ranting, raving, ridiculing, reviling, ruffian, roughneck, reprobate, rabid Rabbit.
Bad Rabbit - 12 June 2009 06:46 PM
Who are you kidding? Your gag reflex has given up years ago, you putrescent , petulant pole smoker.
Bad Rabbit - 07 June 2009 12:52 PM
My sources, all leather-clad, mustached and invariably wearing ass-less pants, tell me that you (Bad_Conduct) are a familiar (albeit an unwanted one) on ‘the scene’.....let me just say that your preference for marathon feltching sessions and over-sized butt-plugs put you snugly in the same box of hypocrisy and pathetic puritan pathology as Larry Craig et al. You see, BC, you do protest too much and I recognize a screeching closet queen when I see one.
Bad Rabbit - 30 January 2009 06:40 PM
(this comment by Mr. Rabbit was inspired by nothing more than my love for football)
...your left hand is reaching for the Vaseline bottle so you can spastically jerk off as you watch men in tights jumping all over each other. I don’t care that you are a mincing, screeching queen Josh. Just come out and jump into this gay thing. Dick first. And stop being such a hypocrite.
While the LGBT community listens in, and looks on with furrowed brows, it appears that the 98 percent is making the 2 percent blush with embarrassment.
While your posts are invariably piteous they rarely are luciferous.
Yet it is by now quite clear that your preoccupation with me is of a dubious, and probably louche, nature.
If you weren’t such an ugly,humorless clod I could have been flattered.
I must say I find this thread much more engaging and entertaining than 98% of that crap in the science and philosophy forums.
Spot on, rab! I believe that 98% of the human race would be obtuse to the intellectual superiority of the discourse on this thread, to the discourse on threads that are launched by the likes of The Champion (whatever happened to that winner?).
You, rab, seem to be much more perceptive, astute, and discerning than the majority. That, combined with your engaging and entertaining posts, as well as your Joker avatar and great signatures, IMHO, easily launches you into the top 2%. And I’m not just saying that because you’re a mod!
You, rab, seem to be much more perceptive, astute, and discerning than the majority. That, combined with your engaging and entertaining posts, as well as your Joker avatar and great signatures, IMHO, easily launches you into the top 2%. And I’m not just saying that because you’re a mod!
While your posts are invariably piteous they rarely are luciferous.
Fair enough. Do I score any “cool points” for being vociferous, boisterous, clamorous, obstreperous, and uproarious?
Yet it is by now quite clear that your preoccupation with me is of a dubious, and probably louche, nature.
Oooh! I’m so shady! Actually, Rabbit, my “preoccupation with you” is nothing more than pure fascination, completely free of any disreputable intentions. There are very few individuals out there with your level of intellect, conceit, and mastery of the English language. Remember, I live in Oklahoma, a place where I’m most likely the only one who knows the meaning of the word “sesquipedalian”. I rarely meet any Bad Rabbits or Salt Creeks, so when I see a thread started by you, I see an actual challenge. Even on this forum, where the average IQ is higher than that of the average Oklahoman, who else is going to offer such a ridiculously high level of intellectual stimulation? Bruce? Bad_Conduct?..........GAD?
If you weren’t such an ugly,humorless clod I could have been flattered.
Oh, come on, Rabbit; I know that you can do better than that. How about “if you weren’t such a homely, unsightly, visually unaesthetic blockhead, completely destitute of humor, I could have been flattered”.....
So you would be flattered if a PRETTY boy, who could make you laugh, was “preoccupied with you”? I will be sure to forward that memo to Jimmy Fallon, and we’ll see what can be arranged.
With your 2% of room for sunshine, Bad Rabbit, you’re not as pessimistic as Shakespeare:
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
I appreciate that. I do my best.
