‘God said she needed to be taken off road’
Posted: 02 December 2008 09:41 AM   [ Ignore ]  
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from the story

A speeding pickup rear-ended a woman’s sedan on… on Friday morning and sheriff’s officials say the driver said it was Jesus’ will because the other motorist was not “driving like a Christian.”
… “He just said God said she wasn’t driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road,” said Lt. Kyle Coleman of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Office.
The driver of the pickup was identified in a Sheriff’s Office news release as Michael E. Schwab, 52, of Blooming Grove.
Schwab told first responders at the scene that “the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.” …
“God must have been with them, ‘cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal,” Coleman said.

Apparently, god is now enforcing traffic etiquette rather harshly.

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Real honesty is accepting the theories that best explain the actual data even if those explanations contradict our cherished beliefs.-Scotty

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Posted: 03 December 2008 01:39 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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Beam - 02 December 2008 02:41 PM

“the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.”

Punish the car?! Infidel sedan..

Seems the wingnuts have taken to joyriding in god’s Fiat.

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He who is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind  -Chamfort

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Posted: 03 December 2008 06:42 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 06:39 AM
Beam - 02 December 2008 02:41 PM

“the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.”

Punish the car?! Infidel sedan..

Seems the wingnuts have taken to joyriding in god’s Fiat.

The Lawd only drives American made pick-em up trucks.

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Real honesty is accepting the theories that best explain the actual data even if those explanations contradict our cherished beliefs.-Scotty

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Posted: 03 December 2008 11:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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Beam - 03 December 2008 11:42 AM
mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 06:39 AM
Beam - 02 December 2008 02:41 PM

“the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.”

Punish the car?! Infidel sedan..

Seems the wingnuts have taken to joyriding in god’s Fiat.

The Lawd only drives American made pick-em up trucks.

Yeah, but “god’s F150” didn’t translate from the Latin as well.

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He who is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind  -Chamfort

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Posted: 03 December 2008 11:53 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 04:08 PM
Beam - 03 December 2008 11:42 AM
mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 06:39 AM
Beam - 02 December 2008 02:41 PM

“the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.”

Punish the car?! Infidel sedan..

Seems the wingnuts have taken to joyriding in god’s Fiat.

The Lawd only drives American made pick-em up trucks.

Yeah, but “god’s F150” didn’t translate from the Latin as well.

??????-CL de deim?

That sounds more like a long acting laxative.

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Real honesty is accepting the theories that best explain the actual data even if those explanations contradict our cherished beliefs.-Scotty

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Posted: 03 December 2008 12:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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Beam - 03 December 2008 04:53 PM
mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 04:08 PM
Beam - 03 December 2008 11:42 AM
mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 06:39 AM
Beam - 02 December 2008 02:41 PM

“the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.”

Punish the car?! Infidel sedan..

Seems the wingnuts have taken to joyriding in god’s Fiat.

The Lawd only drives American made pick-em up trucks.

Yeah, but “god’s F150” didn’t translate from the Latin as well.

??????-CL de deim?

That sounds more like a long acting laxative.

Either way, one’s rear end is affected.

I was playing double-meaning with the word “fiat” - or did you know that and have decided to f**k with me? smirk

I actually rather like the phrase “joyriding in god’s fiat” and plan to use it for… oh hell, I don’t know. Nice CD title, maybe?

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He who is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind  -Chamfort

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Posted: 03 December 2008 01:29 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
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mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 05:09 PM

Either way, one’s rear end is affected.

I was playing double-meaning with the word “fiat” - or did you know that and have decided to f**k with me? smirk

I actually rather like the phrase “joyriding in god’s fiat” and plan to use it for… oh hell, I don’t know. Nice CD title, maybe?

I’m just bored and trying to be funny.  red face  I better keep my current job. Btw, its not really much of a day job since my busiest time is at night when alcohol levels rise in the populace. Sometimes I troll in order to elicit a response. In the past, I have stolen and reused your jokes outside of this forum (without due credit given). I (correctly) suspected that there were more double entendre’s just waiting to be released from your keyboard.

Mostly I was just bantering with you for fun. I figured that you were referring to the fact that a decision was made and enforced by Gawd without the participation of the female victim. Either that; or you were referring to some Italian motor company.

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Real honesty is accepting the theories that best explain the actual data even if those explanations contradict our cherished beliefs.-Scotty

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Posted: 03 December 2008 03:50 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
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Beam - 03 December 2008 06:29 PM

Mostly I was just bantering with you for fun.

Smartly done. Banter and steal away.

It’s so hard to tell what someone means sometimes without smileys (which grate on my nerves a bit).

It also doesn’t help that this forum’s lowercase font makes F-I-A-T look like F-L-A-T. fiat - flat - bah!

I was really struck by the hilarity of the phrase “The other vehicle was not driving like a Christian”. No mention of the driver. Xtian anthromorphization. The sedan itself had evil motives.

Then the idea of people who follow their own bizarre whims and justify them by calling them god’s pronouncements came out as “joyriding in god’s fiat”. Maybe I should have tried “carjacking”.

Anatomy of a joke that missed. Mostly, I just amuse myself around here.

Best at ya.

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He who is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind  -Chamfort

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Posted: 03 December 2008 03:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
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mpbrockman - 03 December 2008 08:50 PM

“joyriding in god’s fiat”.

You underrate your humor. I, for one, appreciate the free show.

Andrew started a new thread about this same story.

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Real honesty is accepting the theories that best explain the actual data even if those explanations contradict our cherished beliefs.-Scotty

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