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Flintstones 2009

 
Keep The Reason
 
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Keep The Reason
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12 May 2009 17:09
 

From the Creation Museum…

Uncle Fred Helps Bam-Bam up…

 
 
 
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eudemonia
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12 May 2009 17:27
 

Those dinosaurs sure must have taken up a lot of room on Noahs Ark.

 
 
mpbrockman
 
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mpbrockman
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12 May 2009 17:55
 
McCreason - 12 May 2009 09:27 PM

Those dinosaurs sure must have taken up a lot of room on Noahs Ark.

I’d have been more worried about the two termites.

 
 
Lapin Diabolique
 
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Lapin Diabolique
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13 May 2009 06:52
 
McCreason - 12 May 2009 09:27 PM

Those dinosaurs sure must have taken up a lot of room on Noahs Ark.

Creationist defense: Noah took the dinosaurs on board when they were little baby dinosaurs.
This is actually stated on the Creationist Museum website.
They have a very elaborate section dealing with the logical inconstancies raised by unbelieving rabble such as us.

Here’s another one.

Q. How come some dinosaur fossils have big teeth (like T-Rex) when we all know that all animals were vegetarians before the Fall since there wasn’t any death and suffering prior to Adam and Eve ? (this assumes that plants aren’t living organisms.)

A. Some vegetarians today (like the Panda bear) have long sharp teeth too.


Ah, the endless elasticity of the loony Christian apologetics.

Such a misuse of the human brain should be illegal and punishable by sterilization.

 
 
 
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eudemonia
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13 May 2009 07:52
 

God then took a big chance. If those little baby dinosaurs died early, and did not reproduce…..no continuation of the species. Oh wait, thats exactly what happened! God had it all figured out ahead of time. He is omni everything!

 
 
Keep The Reason
 
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13 May 2009 07:56
 
Bad Rabbit - 13 May 2009 10:52 AM

Q. How come some dinosaur fossils have big teeth (like T-Rex) when we all know that all animals were vegetarians before the Fall since there wasn’t any death and suffering prior to Adam and Eve ? (this assumes that plants aren’t living organisms.)

A. Some vegetarians today (like the Panda bear) have long sharp teeth too.

No, no, no… They had sharp teeth so they could look friendly while smiling and pointing knowingly to the accuracy of the bible.

 
 
sam harris is a neocon idiot
 
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sam harris is a neocon idiot
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13 May 2009 11:28
 
Bad Rabbit - 13 May 2009 10:52 AM
McCreason - 12 May 2009 09:27 PM

Those dinosaurs sure must have taken up a lot of room on Noahs Ark.

Creationist defense: Noah took the dinosaurs on board when they were little baby dinosaurs. This is actually stated on the Creationist Museum website.

They are actually very small when they are babies.

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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13 May 2009 12:30
 

I wonder how many Sunday-school kids ask their teacher how Noah got down to Australia to pick up the kangaroo couple and the Tasmanian devils, not to mention the return voyage to drop them off again.  Also, about all the African passengers, Earnest Hemingway can tell you that Cape buffalo are even more dangerous than rhinos.  Getting them up the gangplank must have been hell.  Baby Cape buffalo?  No.  They’re huge and recalcitrant from the getgo, and mom wouldn’t have taken kindly to Noah & Sons with their lassos.

Noah’s son:  (whistling shrilly and waving his hat)  Dad!  Dad!  Behind you Dad!  Incoming!

 
 
Nhoj Morley
 
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13 May 2009 13:21
 
unsmoked - 13 May 2009 04:30 PM

I wonder how many Sunday-school kids ask their teacher how Noah got down to Australia to pick up the kangaroo couple ...Getting them up the gangplank must have been hell.

I remember being told the full story back in Sunday School. We had to press the teacher to get it. We kept asking questions and she seemed strangely reluctant to reveal the details. I guess she figured we wouldn’t understand it all. We kept on badgering until finally she told us everything but she wasn’t happy about it. Here are as much of the details as I can remember. I hope they answer your questions.

God made sure that this was no sweat for Noah.
God told the animals to pick one couple from each species that was the best example to the others. Then He told those animal couples to high-tail it to Noah’s and helped the kangaroos arrive just in time by sending angels to carry them. After listening to God, all the animals were well behaved and marched obediently toward the ark. God told them not to eat each other or mate and be sure to go potty before they got there. Except for the cows and sheep who had eaten all the seeds to all the plants. As they marched up the gangplank, God shrunk the big animals to a tenth of their size and all the tiny creatures grew to a more manageable centicubit. Once the animals arrived in their stables, God froze them in suspended animation and surround them with an anti-gravity field so they wouldn’t weigh down the ship. Once the ark was afloat, all the fish couples swam into nets that were attached under the ark. All the birds landed on the ark’s five masts. All the left behind dead animals and people were washed away to the bottom of the ocean or are frozen inside of icebergs. There are black people because Mrs. Noah was already pregnant. The Indians weren’t affected because they were on the other side of the world and all the water was going the other way. The dinosaurs didn’t listen to God but they were too big and heavy to wash away and that’s why we sometimes find one buried in the ground or frozen inside an iceberg. All people are descended from Noah except for the people the Devil put here.

We learned at an early age that the truth must be fought for.

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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13 May 2009 14:22
 
Nhoj Morley - 13 May 2009 05:21 PM

We kept on badgering until finally she told us everything .

Nhoj, I should have known all that.  That would also waive the termite threat that mpbrockman was worried about.  Is it true that the Ark was bigger than a football field?  Were you able to get any info on that?  I mean, the timbers involved, oakum, tar, etc. - must have severely taxed the local resources.  At that size, maybe it had a catapult, like the Nimitze, for launching unruly beasts.

Noah:  (looking through spyglass at approaching sea monster)  Fire elephant number one!

I once drew a cartoon of an attractive lady camel, obviously a first class passenger, standing at the rail taking in the view.  She is wearing a silk scarf, 1920’s style dress, holding a little umbrella.  Joe Camel with cigaret and sunglasses, obiously on the make, sidles up to her, rests his elbows on the rail, follows her gaze and says, “Inclement weather we’re having.”

 
 
 
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eudemonia
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13 May 2009 14:30
 

Speaking of the Ark-from talk origins

Wood is not the best material for shipbuilding. It is not enough that a ship be built to hold together; it must also be sturdy enough that the changing stresses don’t open gaps in its hull. Wood is simply not strong enough to prevent separation between the joints, especially in the heavy seas that the Ark would have encountered. The longest wooden ships in modern seas are about 300 feet, and these require reinforcing with iron straps and leak so badly they must be constantly pumped. The ark was 450 feet long [ Gen. 6:15]. Could an ark that size be made seaworthy?

I think we all know the answer to that. grin

 
 
Keep The Reason
 
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Keep The Reason
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13 May 2009 14:38
 
Nhoj Morley - 13 May 2009 05:21 PM

The dinosaurs didn’t listen to God but they were too big and heavy to wash away and that’s why we sometimes find one buried in the ground or frozen inside an iceberg.

Wait.  We have dinosaurs frozen in ice?

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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13 May 2009 14:57
 
Keep The Reason - 13 May 2009 06:38 PM
Nhoj Morley - 13 May 2009 05:21 PM

The dinosaurs didn’t listen to God but they were too big and heavy to wash away and that’s why we sometimes find one buried in the ground or frozen inside an iceberg.

Wait.  We have dinosaurs frozen in ice?

Well, mastadons, Walt Disney . . .

 
 
Nhoj Morley
 
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Nhoj Morley
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13 May 2009 18:07
 

God would not tell Noah to build a 450-foot boat unless it was seaworthy. I mean… c’mon.
We’re talking about God here.

 
 
 
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Skipshot
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15 May 2009 11:04
 

For someone who created all creation it is absurd this god would need the help of its creation to save its creation.  The shuckin’ and jivin’ by the believers knows no bounds.  Make it up as they go, and accuse naysayers of not having enough knowledge of the subject to be able to argue about it, but illiterate believers are qualified.

 
 
 
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rab
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16 May 2009 10:25
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