The First Shoes

 
 
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unsmoked
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12 July 2009 11:45
 

I try to imagine what it is like for a fundamentalist Christian child to go through the public school system believing that human beings were suddenly created out of dust and divine breath as described in the Bible - children who are convinced that they have no common ancestry with the rest of life on Earth.

Suppose a 5th grade teacher asked the class to write a short imaginative essay on the first shoes or foot coverings ever worn by our ancestors.  The teacher might remind the class that even a mouse makes a warm, dry nest of downy, mossy material in which to spend the winter.  Millions of years before the mouse, caterpillars made silk ‘sleeping bags’ in which to carry out their metamorphosis.  But the first shoes - that must have been a singular event.  Wrapping the feet against the cold?  Protection from ice or rough ground?

The first Europeans into the Arctic must have been appreciative when the Eskimos provided them with footwear suitable for that environment.  On the other hand, there may be people living in the tropical rain forest today who have never worn shoes, people who would find it unpleasant to lose that ‘touch’ with the earth.

As an exercise in empathy with fundamentalist children, try writing a paragraph or short essay called ‘THE FIRST SHOES’, as you think it might be written by them.  Then try the same thing as it might be written by a secular child, one who watches NOVA, Planet Earth, reads Junior Geographic or other science books - a child who has discussions with parents about evolution, visits science museums etc.

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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15 July 2009 11:29
 

http://news.softpedia.com/news/When-Did-People-Start-Wearing-Shoes-78160.shtml

It seems likely that pre-Homo sapiens, maybe Homo neanderthalensis, sometimes wore coverings on their feet.  It must be strange to be a fundamentalist child who can never seriously explore such questions.  How do science teachers cope with this without getting in hot water with fundy parents?

sapiens = Latin for wise, intelligent.  Considering our rapid rise and fall, have we misnamed ourselves?  Homo fantasia?  Homo mythos?  (i.e. - man who adheres to unfounded or false notions and therefore morphs into Homo extinctus)

 
 
 
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mesomorph
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19 July 2009 14:12
 

Unsmoked, haven’t you seen all those pictures of the Garden of Eden? None of them show Adam and Eve wearing shoes. It’s one hundred percent conclusive. What’s the point of your question?

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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19 July 2009 16:12
 
mesomorph - 19 July 2009 06:12 PM

Unsmoked, haven’t you seen all those pictures of the Garden of Eden? None of them show Adam and Eve wearing shoes. It’s one hundred percent conclusive. What’s the point of your question?

Do I have to do all the work?  I thought someone else would come up with the point.  The fundamentalist child still has to come up with an essay about who invented the first shoes.  Was it Jesus who clapped the dust off his sandals when a householder didn’t extend hospitality? 

‘Knock knock.’

‘Whose there?’

‘Jesus and his twelve disciples.  We’re hungry, thirsty, and tired.’

‘Who?’

‘Open the door.’

‘I’m seeing someone tonight.  We’re busy.’

‘Foxes have their dens, birds their nests, but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head!’

(the sound of 13 pairs of sandals clapping - dust drifts in the window - the householder’s girlfriend starts setting 13 more places at the table).  “Open the damn door, Zeke!  Do you want to go to hell over a tousle in the hay?”

This won’t do.  OK, I’m having a hard time putting myself in the shoes of a fundamentalist child faced with this essay.

[ Edited: 19 July 2009 16:25 by unsmoked]
 
 
 
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MHunter
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20 July 2009 09:47
 

Jesus was a shoe maker

 
 
 
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mesomorph
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20 July 2009 10:08
 
unsmoked - 19 July 2009 08:12 PM

OK, I’m having a hard time putting myself in the shoes of a fundamentalist child faced with this essay.

Yeah. When in a hole…
Nice pic MH!

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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23 July 2009 14:06
 
mesomorph - 20 July 2009 02:08 PM
unsmoked - 19 July 2009 08:12 PM

OK, I’m having a hard time putting myself in the shoes of a fundamentalist child faced with this essay.

Yeah. When in a hole…
Nice pic MH!

‘The First Shoes’ by Charles Opfshing, 4th grad, Robert Fulton School

The first shoes didn look to good.  They were made by a man who had to cross a river full of crocs.  Also there were pirranas.  These are fish with sharp teethe.

The first shoes were made from bark, and the laces were made from small tree roots.  Canoos used to be made like this before there was plastik.  In the middle of the river the shoos fell apart and the pirannas bit the man’s feet.  The crocs smelled the blud and came and finished the man off.  After that people didnt think shooz were such a good idea.  Like all grate invenshins they failed at first.  The end.