First, hello everyone! I joined quite a while ago, but haven’t been able to be online a whole lot due to a few family matters that came up and some frustrating computer issues. Oh, and this is my first post due to aforementioned issues.
I scanned the threads involving creationtionism and didn’t see one that applied to what I wanted to say.
This is not so much a point I’m looking for debate on as I needed a place to express myself where I knew that at least someone else would understand where I’m coming from.
A friend of over 20 years (who is exactly my age) married a man, just two years younger than my father (who is 76), about 6 years ago. That in itself was creepy enouigh to make me wonder about her sanity. Many decisions that came after really had me scratching my head. She was in town for a few days last year and dumped a bombshell on me. One that, of all the people I know, I never thought she would be the one to do it. Though, in retrospect, it does explain much of the seemingly insane choices she’s made in the last few years.
While at a restaurant, she leans over and whispers (in a voice loud enough to be heard at tables on either side of us), that did I know about the biggest myth we all grew up with? The “theory” of evolution! This from the woman who helped me convince my husband many years ago that all the stories in the bible couldn’t possibly be taken at face value, man cannot have descended from two people, and evolution is a proven fact - not a “theory.” Hiding my horror as best I could, I started to question her about various matters relating to evolution and the bible. It soon became clear she had fallen, hook, line and sinker for the whole creationist spiel.
I love her, and her kids, dearly. But, in my heart, I’ve lost a lot of respect for her. Not so much because she chooses to believe nonsense, but because she’s using it as an excuse for repeatedly poor decisions she’s been making these past few years that don’t just adversely affect her, but her kids as well. I do not mean that I simply disagree with her lifestyle. To each his or her own, so long as it doesn’t adversely affect others, especially children. I mean that her choices are directly responsible for problems her kids are now paying the price for.
Has anyone here run into a similar situation with a loved one, family or friends?
That is an uncomfortable position to be in. You can’t really come out and tell her that she has clearly taken leave of her senses, but, you also can’t really not do that either. What I am about say will probably sound a bit harsh, but I really don’t mean for it to. From a purely objective point of view, with no dog in that fight, and absolutely no knowledge of the situation at all other than what you have posted, it appears to me that the situation is like this. Your friend’s decision to marry this old coot was a financial one. But, in her mind, this makes her a whore. In order for her to not be a whore in her own mind, this man must have many wonderful qualities that make the decision to marry him something other than a financial one. So, his whacky ideas about the nature of reality must not be whacky. He is actually a wonderful man of deep convictions and spiritual insight. A real gem. So, she isn’t a whore at all, even though, to the casual observer, the evidence that she is would be quite compelling. The conflict between what she has done and what she prefers to think that she is has driven her crazy. I don’t really have any suggestions about possible ways to handle this. It would be a very trying situation to see someone that you care about lose their mind.