No, this isn’t about a month-long, mandatory stay at a Young Republicans gathering. It is about Heaven and Hell.
There is no easy way to say this folks, so I’ll just be blunt about it.
Heaven and Hell really do exist and all of us here have been proven wrong by Mary Katherine Baxter, who, with Jeebus as her tour-guide, was taken on a 30-day trip to Hell.
Actually, it were 30 separate, nightly, lugubrious excursions, so after each ordeal she could find some rest and repose in the pub of the shit-kicker town that spawned her.
I am almost on my way to Church to bow down to Jeebus, but I feel quite good though as no more mysteries exist for me, apart from how to play a 40 foot wide piano and why Jeebus goes to Hell to appear to the poor bastards there to tell them “I told you so”, when it seems a bit more humane for Him to have visited them when they were alive.
Now I know why there is a shortage of food in the world. I’m sure she is telling the truth because she seems so sincere. Jeebus must be a sadist. Gawd is inflicting her on us to punish us now.
Has anyone notified the US Geological Survey to begin searching for the gateway to hell? They’ll know their there when they find Cerberus, the three headed hell hound (here disguised as a two headed, eight legged, two butted hellhound)