Flying Rabbis to the rescue

 
Lapin Diabolique
 
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Lapin Diabolique
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12 August 2009 13:18
 

This is just too funny.

http://richarddawkins.net/article,4161,Flying-rabbis-fight-swine-flu,BBC-News

Rabbis and Kabbalah mystics recite prayers to ward off swine flu

A group of rabbis and Jewish mystics have taken to the skies over Israel, praying and blowing ceremonial horns in a plane to ward off swine flu.

About 50 religious leaders circled over the country on Monday, chanting prayers and blowing horns, called shofars.

The flight’s aim was “to stop the pandemic so people will stop dying from it”, Rabbi Yitzhak Batzri was quoted as saying in Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper.

The flu is often called simply “H1N1” in Israel, as pigs are seen as unclean.


According to Israel’s health ministry, there have been more than 2,000 cases of swine flu in the country, with five fatalities so far.

“We are certain that, thanks to the prayer, the danger is already behind us,” added Mr Batzri was quoted as saying.

Television footage showed rabbis in black hats rocking backwards and forwards as they read prayers from Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism which counts the singer Madonna among its devotees.

The shofar is the horn of a ram, and is used to mark major religious occasions in Judaism.

[ Edited: 16 December 2011 03:24 by Nhoj Morley]
 
 
 
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Skipshot
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13 August 2009 00:55
 

With so many examples of religious fucktardery you’d think atheists wouldn’t be the only ones calling “Bullshit!”  But there’s a blind spot for one’s religion that rationalizes one’s religious bullshit.  No different than:
1. Eating a stale cracker and sipping ridiculously sweet wine will get you into heaven
2. Wearing special underwear will protect you from evil
3. Cracking your spine or sticking needles under your skin will cure whatever ails you.
4. The movement of celestial bodies has a direct effect on your life

If I’m wrong about something I’m happy to be corrected, but stunts like this we’re supposed to respect since it’s done in the name of religion.  WTF, Chuck!?  False hope for the stupid?

[ Edited: 13 August 2009 13:59 by Skipshot]
 
 
Lapin Diabolique
 
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Lapin Diabolique
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13 August 2009 04:50
 

I figured it out.

Yahweh is something of an elderly deity.
His hearing isn’t what it used to be and he is becoming cranky and forgetful.

The good Rabbis have taken notice of this and shrewdely decided to get as close to God as they can so their prayers are easier to be heard.

I’ve been told that their next endeavor will be to shoot a rocket into space crammed full of Hasidic Jews with air horns.

 
 
Lapin Diabolique
 
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Lapin Diabolique
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13 August 2009 06:54
 

This is a comment on the Flying Rabbi extravaganza that claims to be a true story.


I and a co-worker were working in a temple one day when we heard a noise coming from the rabbi’s office. The maintenance guy told us it was “just the rabbi blowing the shofar”. Without missing a beat, my co-worker said, “it doesn’t sound like he likes it.”

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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17 August 2009 13:27
 

When I clicked on this topic it was because I thought it said, ‘Flying Rabbits to the Rescue.’  That would be much more believable.  You know, sometimes pets save their family from a burning house or something and I thought maybe . . . oh, never mind, forget it.

 
 
 
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eudemonia
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17 August 2009 15:37
 

Shofar…so good…..I guess.

If the rabbi’s get tired of blowing their shofar’s they can blow me for awhile.

 
 
Lapin Diabolique
 
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Lapin Diabolique
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17 August 2009 15:40
 
eudemonia - 17 August 2009 07:37 PM

Shofar…so good…..I guess.

If the rabbi’s get tired of blowing their shofar’s they can blow me for awhile.

Hey man, whatever floats your boat or clonches your snoozle.

I’m not judging, but blown by a Rabbi?
Really?

 
 
 
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unsmoked
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17 August 2009 16:29
 

In the opening photo, I don’t think that’s a shofar.  The other passengers wouldn’t put up with the blare.  I think it’s a beverage funnel, a new feature on Israeli Airlines.  It enables the stewardess to pour drinks directly into passengers, reducing the risk of spillage.

 
 
 
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eudemonia
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18 August 2009 15:52
 

OK then, my shofar runneth over. Beverage funnel, douche nozzle, whats the difference? It’s wacky people playing with wacky impliments.