The Loss of Self

 
 
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toombaru
Total Posts:  800
Joined  12-11-2010
 
 
 
24 September 2012 11:32
 

Over the years I have known several who have no sense of being confined to a self.
They are childlike and extremely likeable.
It appears that the trance of personal identity is not easily broken.
Every one of these people experienced a personal catharsis, some drug induced, some after years of introspection.
To some the event happened spontaneously.
I lost everything one night in the Las Vegas Hilton.
I went to bed thinking about the non-existence of separate things and woke up in an extremely anxious state.
The thought came that if things do not exist, what does that say about the “holder of things”.
The panic increased to an unbearable level and the mind tried to blot out the thought stream that by now had turned into a torrent.
“I cannot endure this.” I thought.
And then, the brain said:
“You little chicken shit….......your whole life you have sought this…....and now you turn and run like a frightened child.”
I entered the howling vortex and what happened has no language to describe.
I was not pleasant.
The next morning, I woke up weeping.
My wife tried to console me but I could not find the words to tell her that I was no longer there.
I never returned.

[ Edited: 24 September 2012 20:38 by toombaru]
 
Pathfinder
 
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Pathfinder
Total Posts:  1
Joined  24-09-2012
 
 
 
24 September 2012 16:57
 

Toombaru,

Please consider checking out our community Liberation Unleashed. We provide guides for people who are interested in seeing through the illusion of self. That is, we are a group of people who have seen this noself thing and are helping others see it. Also, we’re getting pretty good at it!

What I’m saying is stop by and help. We currently have over 70 live guiding threads. Pretty great for just starting last winter!

For everyone else reading… Stop by and say hello. Or don’t. It’s cool.

 
 
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toombaru
Total Posts:  800
Joined  12-11-2010
 
 
 
24 September 2012 17:15
 
Pathfinder - 24 September 2012 04:57 PM

Toombaru,

Please consider checking out our community Liberation Unleashed. We provide guides for people who are interested in seeing through the illusion of self. That is, we are a group of people who have seen this noself thing and are helping others see it. Also, we’re getting pretty good at it!

What I’m saying is stop by and help. We currently have over 70 live guiding threads. Pretty great for just starting last winter!

For everyone else reading… Stop by and say hello. Or don’t. It’s cool.

 

How exciting!
I was hoping for a place where people can cash in their empties.
grin

See ya there.

 
TheCoolinator
 
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TheCoolinator
Total Posts:  152
Joined  29-08-2012
 
 
 
24 September 2012 21:21
 
toombaru - 24 September 2012 11:32 AM

Over the years I have known several who have no sense of being confined to a self.
They are childlike and extremely likeable.
It appears that the trance of personal identity is not easily broken.
Every one of these people experienced a personal catharsis, some drug induced, some after years of introspection.
To some the event happened spontaneously.
I lost everything one night in the Las Vegas Hilton.
I went to bed thinking about the non-existence of separate things and woke up in an extremely anxious state.
The thought came that if things do not exist, what does that say about the “holder of things”.
The panic increased to an unbearable level and the mind tried to blot out the thought stream that by now had turned into a torrent.
“I cannot endure this.” I thought.
And then, the brain said:
“You little chicken shit….......your whole life you have sought this…....and now you turn and run like a frightened child.”
I entered the howling vortex and what happened has no language to describe.
I was not pleasant.
The next morning, I woke up weeping.
My wife tried to console me but I could not find the words to tell her that I was no longer there.
I never returned.

Did you at least pay alimony?